Psalm 73:20 David says: “Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none”.
A recent Gallop poll said 4 out of 10 Americans admit to frequent feelings of intense loneliness. People have never lived closer together and yet have never felt further apart. Never before has the social network like twitter and Facebook brought more people together. YET PEOPLE ARE LONELIER THAN EVER!
It hits all of us at some time in our life. It can last from any time span of a moment to a lifetime. Loneliness is the painful awareness that we lack meaningful contact with others. It involves within it a feeling of inner emptiness which can be accompanied by sadness, discouragement, a sense of isolation, restlessness and anxiety – and even an intense desire within to be wanted and needed by someone.
Loneliness is one of the most heart wrenching feelings you can experience. You do not have to be alone to feel alone. You can feel lonely in a crowd. It is not the number of people around you that determines your loneliness – it is your relationship to them.
There is a difference between loneliness and solitude. Solitude is a voluntary withdrawal from people; loneliness is forced upon you, against your will. Loneliness is no respecter of persons, you can be wealthy and lonely – Ask Howard Hughes. You can be beautiful and lonely – Ask Marilyn Monroe.
You can be Married and Lonely. Many people get married because they are lonely and get divorced for the same reason.
CAUSES FOR LONLINESS:
1. THE FIRST CAUSE IS THE TRANSITION OF LIFE
Growing older brings about a series of changes and each change can produce loneliness. Changing jobs is lonely. Retiring is lonely. The death of a love one is lonely. When you are sick, we will isolate you. Seventy percent of people in rest homes never get a visit from anyone.
2 .THE SECOND CAUSE OF LONELINESS IS SEPARATION
Because of career, or military service or death. Paul was separated by most of his friends. “Do thy diligence to come shortly unto me: For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world.” II Tim 4:9-10. You can relieve the grieving loneliness of someone by making that contact you have put off
Is there someone you need to call or write a letter? Who do you need to visit? Who do you need show love?
3. ANOTHER CAUSE OF LONELINESS IS OPPOSTION
Paul getting old, he has brethren and enemies against him. He has been beaten, shipwrecked, harassed, imprison, misjudged, misquoted, misunderstood, mishandled, misrepresented–in opposition to serving the Lord.
4. ANOTHER CAUSE OF LONELINESS IS REJECTION
This may be the most difficult form of loneliness. II Timothy 4:16 “At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge.” That is why it is so painful going thru a divorce when someone has rejected you. Betrayal, abandonment and unfaithfulness is a severe form of rejection that causes intense loneliness. Every person has an emotional need for acceptance.
DESTRUCTIVE WAYS SOME HANDLE LONELINESS:
WORKAHOLIC – You spend all your time working.
MATERIALISM – The false idea that if you have more things you will be happy. What if you were put on a highland and you could have anything you wanted except human contact. You would not be happy very long. You cannot purchase happiness.
EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR – People jumped into relationship. Some call it rebounding. They are lonely and overlook some series flaws of the person they are dating.
DRUGS AND ALCOHOL – Some turn to these substances to forget their loneliness.
PITY PARTY – Some sit around with the attitude “Wow is me”
The Prescription for Loneliness
1. Accept what cannot be changed but alter what can be. For many people the biggest problem is not their loneliness, but their struggle with the acceptance of their loneliness. Philippians 4:11: Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
2. Accept God’s provision for your loneliness. Why did Jesus die on a cross? COL 1:21-22 “And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight.” So we could have Eternal Fellowship with God! ONLY God can fully cure your loneliness.
3. Allow God’s Word to fill you. The Bible will sooth and encourage you. Two key verses: PS 27:10 “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.”
Heb. 13:5-6 “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.”
4. Activate your network of Christian Friends. You are a part of a church volunteer for a ministry. PROV 18:24 “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” We should be on the look out to lift up the lonely.
5. UTILIZE YOUR TIME WISELY. You only have a limited time on this planet, so make sure you use it wisely.
6. MINIMIZE THE HURT. II TIMOTHY 4:16 “At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them.” Do not exaggerate the pain. Do not rehearse it over and over. Some people make it there ever present theme.
7. RECOGNIZE GODS PRESENCE. II TIMOTHY 4:17 “Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me; that by me the preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear: and I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.” Psalms 139: 7-8 “Whither shall I go from thy spirit? Or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.”
8. EMPATHIZE WITH OTHER PEOPLES NEEDS. Start investing in other people. There was once an advertisement in a Kansas newspaper that read like this: ‘I will listen to you talk for 30 minutes without comment for five dollars’. It wasn’t long before he was bombarded with 10 to 20 calls a day. The pain of loneliness for some is so sharp that they were willing to try anything for half an hour of companionship. There is a spiritual loneliness within the heart of every person that can only be filled by the personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ in salvation. You need the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior to have the companionship that matters the most. The friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
